Who Do You Think You Are?

MANAGING YOUR IDENTITY

Though we may not be mindful of it, we are always managing our identity. Constant pressure exists to compromise the many parts of our selves and if we're not careful, we can negotiate away so much so that when we are able to stop and take a look at our lives, we're unrecognizable. It is our responsibility to strike a balance that is not too strict but also not too loose to maintain a healthy sense of self that we can be happy with and represents who we truly want to be. Of course, it's not easy but it is always worth it but don't just take my word for it. Three ways you can begin to approach this challenge are to:

• Embrace Your Multidimensional Self

• Set Boundaries and Prioritize Self-Care

• Cultivate a Growth Mindset

EMBRACE YOUR MULTIDIMENSIONAL SELF

You are not what you do. However, when we share our work with others we say "I am a(n) [fill in the blank]". We do the same with other parts of our identity as well ("A real [fill in the blank] would never [fill in the blank]"). The ultimate issue is that we buy into so many collective groups. We can lose our individual selves in the process because not all of these groups intersect or neatly overlap and we find ourselves conflicted and struggling to integrate them together, which is nearly impossible. Unfortunately, we suffer for it. We take sides and cut off parts of who we are to navigate the world without conflict and it does us no real favors because it's unsustainable. Instead of being encouraged to embrace all that we are in every conflicted, messy dimension of ourselves, we wear a multitude of masks and are never able to show up fully. This can make mental health a fruitless objective.

SET BOUNDARIES AND PRIORITIZE SELF-CARE

Boundaries help to define who you are apart from what you do or the other people in your life. We are all unique in our own way but when we do not uphold boundaries, those distinctions cannot be seen, known or appreciated. Lines become blurred, points of view are muted and we blend into the background. An article featured in the Harvard Business Reviewdelves into what happens when we become enmeshed with our careers and how "[e]nmeshment prevents the development of a stable, independent sense of self." Also, people's fears of loneliness can prohibit them from prioritizing time alone and as a result, self-care is widely neglected or discouraged as being selfish (in a negative sense). Ultimately, this further subtracts from the multidimensional self and the boundaries required to keep it intact. Ultimately, many of the rewards that accompany becoming enmeshed with your work incentivize a lack of boundaries, which can erode our mental health and lead to burnout. At that point, we are forced into self-care. The good news is, no matter how you got to a place of self-care, you have found yourself in the starting blocks of healing the damage to your sense of self.

CULTIVATE A GROWTH MINDSET

There is more than one way to be yourself in your chosen line(s) of work and forms of play. Therefore, your personal and professional identities should be allowed to evolve over time. A growth mindset gives you the courage to be creative with both and develop new iterations that incorporate your collective experiences, ideas and vision into something that has never existed before. This will look different for everyone and that is the point. When we attempt to walk someone else's path or model our journey just like theirs, we assume we will arrive at the same result. Rather, we may be surprised at the rare outcomes of our own creation (See Carol Dweck).

All this being said, you can be anything you want to be. You can reinvent yourself at any time and pivot whenever you see fit but in order to believe that, you must adopt a mindset that encourages your ability to change. Will everyone agree with you? Absolutely not. There will always be dissenters. The beauty is knowing this can help liberate you from caring what other people think. If there will always be someone that disagrees with what you do, what is stopping you? The truth is that there are people right now who do not like what you are currently doing or have done in the past. You can't win if your goal is to please everyone. So, why not get busy pleasing yourself which will also make you better able to show up for those that you care about because you are whole? The only constant in the world is change and growth requires change, after all.

Intentional Professionals can help with a Strategic Consultation to provide the support you need to make the changes that will bring you more success. Book a discovery call to find out how.

Sincerely,

-M